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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 20.06.2025 18:41

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By taking turns talking.

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By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

Why am I totally different than others? Why do I have a problem with my basic knowledge about society and reality? Why am I dumb and stupid?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.